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Corporate Food Thieves
Posted by Claire Connelly in Entertainment, Humour
No – it’s not because of the state of the economy, or some hypocritical action on the part of a local politician.
It’s not to do with poverty, starvation, disease, corruption, or greed (well, it’s partly to do with greed).
It’s because some fucking office food thief, stole, my home made pumpkin soup which I brought into the office for lunch.
In my office, we have two fridges – a big fridge, shared between the departments (from which things frequently get stolen), and a small fridge, which is only used by a handful of people from my department, all of whom I work closely with.
You only need to get your food stolen from the big fridge once, for you to know not to use it.
My beautiful home-made pumpkin soup and crusty bread roll was taken, out of the small fridge.
Having worked over my normal lunch hour to finish a task for a client, I cannot convey my excitement for the reward I was about to bestow upon myself, in the form of thick, creamy pumpkin soup and a crusty roll.
Especially when you’re taking a late lunch – there is nothing, more infuriating than having your food taken.
It is infuriating enough to know that someone you work with has taken your food, but by three in the afternoon I’m so frigging starving so you can just imagine the anger that ensued.
However it is also a massive betrayal.
So far, in the nine months I have been working here, I have had stolen:
-Mum’s home-made brisket and mashed potato.
- marinated grilled tomatoes and goats cheese with seasoning (thanks mum).
- Cannelloni
- Roast-chicken sandwich with spinach and cranberry sauce.
- Curry Puffs.
- Pumpkin Soup (and accompanying bread roll).
What kind of tight-ass cheap skate do you have to be, to make you walk to the fridge and take food that you know isn’t yours, eat it, and hide/throw away the Tupperware it was stored in?
I cannot relate to people who do this.
I would feel like a fucking homeless person if I ate someone else’s food out of the fridge.
A fucking, hobo, homeless person!
Oh, you know who you are, stealer of sustenance, sneaking into the fridge just before noon to peruse the menu of meals that had been pain-stakingly prepared the night before by your trusted colleagues.
Perhaps you would like some roast beef on rye with brie?
Or maybe some pumpkin soup?
Never mind the fact they have names not belonging to you written write on top of them!!!
So many choices, so little morals.
I give in, I surrender.
From now on I will create two batches of food, that way we both can eat.
However, my food will live in my locked drawer.
Yours will be in the fridge.
The only catch is (to steal a sneaky idea of an anonymous co-worker), yours will have laxatives in them.
I believe you are long overdue for some colonic irrigation.
Get your filthy hands off my well-prepared food, or it’ll be explosive diarrhea for the rest of the week!
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At times like this, it really is ok to waterboard everyone you work with.
Home made pumpkin soup? That really is the last straw. Rip apart the feather pillows and start boiling the pitch.
Boy told me to visit. Hi there.
Reading this post I was reminded of the time that my lunch, well, half of it, was stolen from the work fridge.
It was a spaghetti dish and there was a lot in the container. It appears the theif took half and heated it up, and using my fork (which I later found washed up and in the drawer, probably washed up by someone other than the food thief), ate half my lunch.
I was furious. I sent an email to everyone on campus to tell the food thief what I thought of them. The campus manager was so chuffed with the email and delighted that I’d had the gumption to widely publish that there were thieves stealing food from the fridge.
I don’t know who stole my lunch, it never happened again, I never took any food which needed to be stored in the staff room refrigerator in the main admin building.
That is a low act.
Wow – tell Boy, thanks for the recommendations.
Secondly – these people need to be stopped. I am not a vengeful person, but I had real images of exploding heads, and someone in the office randomly running to the bathroom and howling in agony as a result of the laxatives I hid in the food. Pure evil
So not really on the same topic as your post, but I found this today and I just can’t resist sharing. Mrs. Agathe?s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, ?I?ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I?ll mail you the check. Oh, and by the way?don?t worry about my Doberman. He won?t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!? When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe?s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn?t contain himself any longer and yelled, ?Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!? To which the parrot replied, ?Get him, Spike!?
Strange this post is totaly unrelated to what I was searching google for, but it was listed on the first page. I guess your doing something right if Google likes you enough to put you on the first page of a non related search.