Won’t somebody please think of the children!? tagged: , , , , ,

Won’t somebody please think of the children!?

Posted by Claire Connelly in Humour, Politics, Religion

Surely with responsible parenting and the guidance of NSW’s abundant religious institutions we can ensure that the fear of God is thoroughly nailed *ahem*, I mean drilled into the minds of our malleable youngsters without our public schools getting involved.

Lets put aside for a minute that NSW’s public schools are still adhering to a thoroughly antiquated law that insists that the feckless heathens who choose not to participate in scripture classes shall be taught nothing at all for the hour – lest their minds be distracted from the glory of the savior who died for their sins but who they chose to ignore anyway… and consider the logic of this situation.

It is certainly ironic that the religious leaders who claim to be in possession of strong Christian moral values would rather those children who opt out of scripture classes “receive nothing than talk about values.”

Here’s an idea, instead of scripture classes or ethics classes, or picking up rubbish/illegal child labour – how about public schools devote an hour a week to teaching children proper logic?

That way students can properly ration and reconcile their beliefs in higher powers and imaginary friends (or lack-thereof) with other people’s belief in higher power or invisible friends (or lack thereof).

To begin with, children could begin their lessons by learning how to differentiate facts, opinions, and beliefs. Students could then go on to participate in practical problem solving activities designed to develop their ability to achieve specific outcomes by using only their brain. Children could be tested by applying the logic they have learned in class to a series of hypothetical questions about God and religion. Rather than judging the answers to be correct or incorrect, teachers could mark students on the rational consistence of their answers. Students will not only learn to debate in a constructive way, they will develop informed opinions which do not contradict each other – or if they do, at least students will be able argue them away in a complex and complicated manner using fancy pants language that will be sure to confuse and stun their opponents into submission.

Want some more examples? Here’s one I prepared earlier, (and by “I”, I mean somebody else).

With this stunning ability to recognise contradictions even faster than their parents, our children will be less easily manipulated by politicians/teachers/parents/advertising and finally we will raise a generation of children who are better equipped to make decisions for themselves and their future spawn in the…. well – future.

Knowledge and education are nothing without a proper filing system. Giving students even just a basic ability to organise their thoughts and beliefs in a logical manner would certainly ensure that ignorance, intolerance, prejudice, racism, sexism, and xenophobia would become a thing of the past.

With compulsory logic classes, children will be properly able to fathom the true meaning of the phrase “judge not lest ye be judged”.

We could do away with judgmental religious hypocrites in just one generation, all for the cheap and cheerful cost of a public school education.